Excel Saga at Walmart
by What-the-Dark
Summary: when the characters of excel saga go to walmart.  disclaimer we do not own any thing except the plot


Lord Ilpalazzo and his big ass cape make their way into the video game section at Wal-mart. A bright spotlight comes down from the heavens and shines on Rockband. Ilpalazzo stares in amazement at this game. "Aw Hell Yeah!"

Meanwhile…

"Excel Excel in wondering aimlessly around this walo-marto. Excel does not know why she has to narrate everything she is doing!" Excel shrugs. She starts sprinting though the aisles. She stops at the furniture section. Poking at a bean bag chair she says, "Excel wonders what is inside, good thing I have this random bazooka I'm pulling out of nowhere!" From a swift reach behind her back, sure enough she pulls out a bazooka from god knows where and blows the bean bag chair up. "Now what should Excel do!" She looks to her left and sees a TV. "I wanna lick it!" and she does.

Meanwhile…

Hyatt is checking out some sexy clothing where many guys are watching her do this from a far. She picks up a F-cup and decides to try it on. Hyatt undresses herself slowly as a random bystander holds a fan by her so her hair blows in the wind. The other bystanders are bleeding from their noses.

Meanwhile…

Menchi finds herself running around the food aisle. Everywhere she looks there's her fallen brethren that have been subjects to human food.

Meanwhile…

Lord Ilpalazzo has a mic stand with a guitar. People are starting to gather around thinking what…the…fuck…? Ilpalazzo yells, "Guitar Solo!" As he is playing a little too passionately he bangs his head vigorously and his tongue is hanging out of his mouth wiggling like some sort of deformed snake. A Punchu is assisting him in the band as a drummer.

Meanwhile…

"Excel is still wondering around desperately looking for the food section. Excel is so hungry. Ugh..."Excel slumps over as she hopelessly walks. Her back then quickly straightens and she stands up tall. "But Excel will not give in!" Excel can without a little food! For the power of Ilpalazoo can give me strength and keep me going!" Her eccentric smile turned weak as she melted to the floor. "But one bite wouldn't hurt… huh?" She looked up as she a familiar whimpering and whining. This is it. The emergency food supply. Excel jolts up and starts running towards the noise. "OH MENCHI!" There was an evil glare in Excel's eyes.

Meanwhile…

Hyatt almost had her bra off. She stopped abruptly when she was unhinging it. She saw Excel run by with a cloud of dust and smoke behind her. "Why, it's senior." The men began to cry as Hyatt put her clothes back on. "I should go see what she's do-"blood dripped from her mouth. Her eyes rolled up into her head as she fell back. She is now laying unconscious on the ground surrounded by men. (Oh boy…)

Meanwhile…

The pedophile doctor was wondering around the candy aisle. (big surprise there) After meeting a cute 5 year old with pigtails and asking her to call him Uncle Sugar, they skipped merrily to the toy section so he could pick her out a pedo-bear. (Are there such things)

Meanwhile…

A familiar shrieking voice is rounding the corner. There she is. Excel. Menchi starts running as fast as she can on all four legs. "Menchi! Come here you little emergency food supply you!" Menchi looks back in horror as she is getting closer and closer. She's too damn fast. And of course that one track mind of Excel's made it unable for her to see that she was in the food section and she could just eat that instead of her poor beloved dog. (baka)

Meanwhile…

Lord Ilpalazzo is being pushed out of the store for bashing the guitar into the TV screen, oh and the dead prostitute in the bathroom…and for stabbing the Punchu in the chest 37 times…and for threatening customers whit a banana…and for biting a few people…and for setting a bomb up in the air vent…only they didn't know about the last one…not yet at least.

Meanwhile…

The little girl got her pedo-bear. Now she and Uncle Sugar were playing house with Barbie dolls. The theme was "Me and daddy in the storage closet." (*shiver* ok too creepy even for me)

Meanwhile…

Hyatt was -… and the men were -… you know…

Meanwhile…

Drooling, Excel pulled out a butcher's knife out of nowhere. She is about to grab Menchi's tail when she hears a loud beep. "What ever could that be? Oh well Excel is too hungry to be worrying about this." Menchi is still running for her life with tears flying off her face. NABASHIN TO THE RESCUE! Nabashin leaps out of the frozen meat section cause somehow he was hiding beneath the meat. He grabbed Menchi and through her in his big poofy afro. This should protect you from the expl- BOOM!


End file.
